She used to have my back unconditionally

In her absence, there’s a false sense of security

I’ve got new friends and demons inside of me

In the form of insomnia and chemical dependency

They nag at me without rest, mercilessly

Darkness creeping in incessantly

Loneliness, threatening to overtake me

stares me down ceaselessly

How the fuck do I go on,

Now I got suicidal tendencies

Reality steps to me, meeting my gaze with a deafening glance

Stood toe-to-toe at the gates of grief,  I’m locked in a frozen stance

There’s no moving forward, I see no way to advance

I realize there is no way of refusing this dance

No getting up and escaping under any circumstance

Fortune and fate render me still alive by mere happenstance

Her life is said and done,

has come and gone,

no second chance